


all is soft inside

by shadowkatja



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Again, Angst, Charles is suffering, Dan is so soft, Hurt/Comfort, I swore not to do that anymore, M/M, Pre-Slash, omg, post-suzuka, zero sexual tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 08:55:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21158978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadowkatja/pseuds/shadowkatja
Summary: They're on a plane to Monaco when Dan finally decides to talk about Charles' driving style.





	all is soft inside

**Author's Note:**

> English isn't my native language and I'm not so good at it as I would like to be, so sorry for the mistakes.
> 
> I think it's my fav pairing now, so I had to write my own story with them.
> 
> Inspired by Charles' and Dan's insta-stories.

"That was crazy, hah?" Dan asks with a bit of smile and sees how Charles rolls his eyes instead of answering. Of course, he understands what Dan meant with "crazy". 

They are on the plane to Monaco and Aussi finally decides to bring up the subject. There hasn’t been a proper moment before. After the race, Charles was too disappointed and Dan thought that his teаm has already told him everything. Then there was a penalty and Dan who changed his position was not in the place to talk about "dangerous". Then there were those jokes on the Insta and he didn’t want to fuck up the atmosphere. All the more Charles was smiling and Dan couldn’t ruin it with this kind of conversation.

But it was now or never because waiting for a "better moment" might be last too long. And to be honest he would like to never talk about it. But the older driver feels responsibility. Yes, Charles is pretty talented and successful and sane but Dan has more experience and he saw more. He saw _this-fucking-heartbreaking-accident-that-he-wants-forget-more-then-anything_ at Suzuka. So he has to do it. At least Charles is not just a godson of his old dead friend. Dan prefers not to think about it too much.

"Don’t roll your eyes. I know you’ve heard it many times today, but I really want to know what the hell were you doing?" Dan tries to catch Charles’ eyes. They’re made of glass.

"You know, race weekend is so ritualistic usually", Charles starts too far from the main theme, looking through Daniel, "you come to a track, prepare, make stuff on Thursday, then two practices on Friday and stocked schedules on Saturday and Sunday. All these briefings, press-conferences. Your time is fairly planned, you do everything step by step and you always know what are you doing at the moment. And then in Suzuka, my schedule turned into a mess. Saturday disappeared and I didn’t know what to do. I was going to sleep and analyse data like I usually do on Fridays..."

"I saw bags under your eyes. And I still see them. Have you slept?"

"Not enough and not well", Charles shakes his head and puts fingers through his hair "I laid in my bed under a big suffocating blanket of anxiety and couldn’t do anything because everything got out of hand".

"You need to rest". Daniel thinks that he needs to stop this dialogue and he shouldn’t have even started it.

But Charles continues.

"Being there is difficult. I mean... I’m happy to be at Suzuka in full red, but Jules...you know, someone put flowers to Dunlop Curve. It hurts..." He pauses for a second. "I usually post his photos on important dates and last time I got a comment. There was something like “_omg again? 5 years, man, let him go”._ I understand that it’s just a random guy from the Internet and I don’t have to pay attention, but what if he was right. What if I need to stop? Because all I wanted was to win for him. Make my own tribute for him there. Like it would mean something. Like it would make me free. But I fucked up and then was ready to give everything to fix it".

He swallows and starts to search for the bottle of water. Dan hands him his full bottle and Charles make a big sip.

"I just want to leave it there. Everyone told me that I was a fucking idiot. You’re going to say the same, I know. And I deserved it. But things have gone bad... I don’t know, since Monza or Singapore. And this was like adding fuel to the fire. I’ve read the news. And comments. And I know what people say and write. And I’m disappointed in myself".

"You’re just human. As we all. Humans make mistakes. And besides, you’re still very young".

"I’m almost twenty-two", Charles resents.

He looks so childish with his arms crossed.

"Almost twenty-two-year-old kid, yeah”, Dan sniggers, "All of your brilliant career as a racer still lies ahead. Don’t push yourself so hard right now".

Charles opens his mouth to say something, but Dan stops him from talking.

"Yes, I know what you want to say. But you have at least ten years to prove the world you’re worth something. It’s a lot, you know? Remember about it."

"It’s like as if you were my older brother", Charles’ face brightens up a little, "Not like Lorenzo...I don’t want to say that he’s a bad brother, no, but he doesn’t know how that feels inside. And you’ve already walked this way…"

"Hey", Aussie kicks him in the right ankle, "I’m not going to put my steering wheel on a shelf".

Charles laughs but Daniel can see that he’s still tense. 

"Come here", Dan slaps the seat next to him. When Monegasque doesn’t respond he says, "c’mon Charles" and holds out his hand. Charles grabs it with his cold nervous fingers after a while.

When Charles moves to the seat, Dan figures out that it’s rather a tight fit, but he doesn’t mind. He guesses Charles too. He puts his hand around Charles’ shoulders moving him any closer and whispers "Close your eyes, you need some rest". He feels how Charles moves to get comfortable and falls asleep immediately.

Dan is warm. And he has a big heart to find a place for this boy there right now. He has enough space for all boys in the world. He’s just kind and positive. There’s nothing really serious. Daniel finds himself lying. He has a big place with a sign named “_Charles Leclerc_” in his heart since Bahrain. And he’ll always have it.

He meets the sunrise through a plane’s window, hugging Charles who buried his face in Dan’s neck. His chin is on Charles’ head and his hair smells like green apple. Daniel knows this smell. He always can feel a light echo of it even after races when everyone smells like an old sweat sock.

Dan sees how Charles’ eyelashes flinch under the sunshine and closes his eyes making a deep breath. He’s tired but he doesn’t want to waste time sleeping. He has this short moment with Charles in his hands and when the flight will arrive all’s back to normal.

“_Let him be careful, please. I’m not ready to lose someone else. I’m not ready to lose him. Please_”.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from the song Aurora "All Is Soft Inside". It doesn't connect with the song in general but I love this line


End file.
